Rob left really abruptly last Thursday and it will never be the same around here without him. He took a job at Schnake Turnbo Frank as a Senior Account Executive. Hopefully, we will keep in contact....We took him out to lunch at a restaurant down the street before he left and it was so sad!

I hate Jordan Associates.

This has been such a weird week.

Valentine's Day came and went. We celebrated early the day before and then again on the actual day. I don't know why. I think Ryan thought he was going to be too busy or didn't want to deal with the crowds, I'm not sure. On the 13th, I came home and there were two dozen pink roses on the kitchen table. He also bought a nice bottle of red wine and took me out to eat at Lemon Grass. Then yesterday I cooked Lemon Rosemary chicken and garlic dill potatoes. I gave him his gift and we had some white wine and watched a movie.

I'm such an emotional mess. Ryan has been really sweet this week, but I'm just not myself.

This weekend is Stef's baby shower. I am trying to be excited...I bought her some really cute things from Babies R Us this week. The weather is supposed to be bad, snow and ice. I don't want to drive 3 hours but I can't miss it since I couldn't make her wedding, she would never forgive me.

I want to go home. Larry is out of town and I am so bored I could cry.

It begins.

I'm starting up a new blog....after a 5 year hiatus! I doubt I'll stick with it, but who knows.

So, it's day two of sleep medication. I couldn't handle my chronic insomnia anymore and...this Ambien stuff really works! I can't remember the last time I slept so well. It knocks me right out. The scary part is, it does weird things to my head before I fall asleep and after I wake up.

Yesterday, I got up at 5:30 and felt like I was drunk. The room was spinning and I had to hold on to the furniture to make it to the bathroom. I worked out at the Y, but I barely remember going and the 20 min. I spent on the bike is really fuzzy. Scary! This morning wasn't as bad...I actually woke up before my alarm went off feeling really refreshed. I did 30 min. on the elliptical and came home, and then I remembered sending Ryan a really psycho text last night...

I took the Ambien at 8 and went to bed around 9. I think I fell asleep, but then Ryan came to bed and I woke up and wrote him a text message. I hardly remember writing it, but I looked today and this is what it says:

"There's illegal things to be shared tonight when the darkness falls o'er a blank grey slate, come follow me higher up, deeper still where he watches your sleeping ponies stop him fast no it's too late tyertykmhgfed."


It freaked me out to read it the next day.